2014: a remembrance

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Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset

and there I was - a few days into this rotation - back at home in Olympia - only to be greeted by a clear sky and sliver of moon

there were so many moments when I thought to myself - today I am going to document this incredible space I live in - I never necessarily followed through - photos exist here and there but the space is primarily remembered in my heart - the two month waiting for you to come home began

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IcMG_1793

a dear friend had traveled back home with me - to stay for what turned into 10 days of magick - our home was a prime space for catalyzing exactly that - magick

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we all gathered for the first time since this trip around the sun began - there was a sense of relief to see each other - to create together - to continue exploring the artist between each of us

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to run into the ocean all at once - holding hands - only to have the sea inject imprints of home and feel the burn of salt water at midnight - loud shrieks and laughter rippled through

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our living space often looked this way - various other beings we loved coming to create and heal and keep each other company in the dark winter months - these days are close to my heart as are all of you

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there was always a primary focus on creating - in any way shape or form that I possibly could - I've often functioned that way through out this lifetime

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Processed with VSCOcam with t1 preset

I enrolled myself into a photographic printmaking class - the opportunity to be in a studio again - to take part in an art form I so deeply love - to re-ignite my love for image on fabric

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IcMG_1912

an exchange of words and image - to compliment each others minds - these are some of my favorite

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IcMG_1936

our karmic ties are strong - to teach other - to push each other - you are a reflection that I have unbearable amounts of love for - thank you for the creative voyage - for sailing through such a deep and extraordinary time with me

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IcMG_1954

it's amazing how present seasonal shifts are when you live in such an abundant environment - spring was quickly approaching - death and life were both so very present - 25+ mice dying in the wall you rest your head against is heavy - to say the least - that was only the beginning

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IcMG_1965

we were so consistent about all spending time together - such an amazing experience to feel such family in your community - I never realized the full spectrum of how special this all really was (is) - cooking for each other spending time on the shore - we took care of one another - walking through winter - together - makes it that much more bearable - maybe even enjoyable

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Processed with VSCOcam with m5 preset

death was ever present on our property - this time I arrived home to a dead doe in our parking lot - an unsettling feeling lurched inside of my stomach - the kind that is universally sized - the cosmos whispering in your ear - what a strange difficult two weeks

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IcMG_2049

and somewhere in between all of this you walked in - so casually - never did I expect to find one of my dearest teachers and friends in the basement of a college - but I guess you can't really expect these things - you let my creativity reign free on your skin within weeks of crossing paths - thank you - this was pivotal

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that night I drove through snow covered forest - I remember the drive well - every branch was so heavily dusted - that as I drove through knocking the snow off - each would fly up in the most glorious lightfast manner - those two weeks completely took it out of me - one month down - one to go - there is nothing quite like waking up to a greenhouse surrounded by a foot of snow - it never snows in Olympia

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Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset

I was so thoroughly enchanted walking through the woods that day - knowing this magick occurrence was fleeting - that weekend was spent learning basic Tai Chi and listening to him speak of the horse the was ever present - it was time to hold on

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DSC_2059

 we bonded over heading south - to explore to see old friends - to get away from the little oasis that was home - you are so nurturing to be around - I look forward to seeing you again soon my dear

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DSC_2071

you came to visit us in our forest home - to perhaps consider moving there yourself

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again we were all together - to celebrate solar returns - to celebrate each other

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I always appreciated (appreciate) the creative energy that we all hold together - painting and drawing all over each other - dancing - there is a certain amount of openness and acceptance that was always present - easy to be around

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here's to two little piscean beings that shed much light in this lifetime

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DSC_2295

mornings were always still - I never got going until noon or later - there is a silence that exists when living out there - a lack of time - you move with the tide - the light doesn't change very much through out the day - so you must function on your own clock

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Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

I was exploring my love of installation in small ways through our living space - a passion for the execution and arrangement of objects - taking up a fascination with combing the type writer and fabric

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we all headed north - to watch you play music - to support you - to enjoy each others company - I felt withdrawn - inward to say the least - the moon was new - I submerged myself into the icy womb of the earth - and filled out an application that would lead me to something life changing - paradigm shifting

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Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

two months came and went just like that - a new book opened up - something continued - it was so good to see you again - to have you back at our house - feelings hard to contain

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past ways of creation opened up with new friends  - reminders of my deep love for the image of our surrounding cosmos - for the female form - for friends and their openness - for your positivity

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Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

 the visual time log began - attempting to make daily entries - to use this scroll as a second flood book but a more public one - to have a fluid motion of mark making - letting everything out

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FINAL

and in a blink of an eye my printmaking class was over - having created more prints than I can count - as I usually do when I practice printmaking - the feeling of creative abundance engulfed me - expressions of home were displayed

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and again we were all together - as we so often were - holding such space of communal creation

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saying goodbye and hello - closing and opening - experiencing experimental activities  - watching each other interact with the inner child and beyond

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sharing talents with each other - dancing spring in - everything was suddenly exploding into life

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Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset

new places were on the horizon - the feeling of flying over the heavens to somewhere unknown - somewhere on my own - being completely taken there by other forces

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little did I know how good it would feel - how quickly I would fall in love with New Orleans - the hospitality - the kindness

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the plant life and weather - it remembered a part of me that felt so dormant - to have quiet introspective explorative time by myself - what an amazing rare feeling that was - is - the ability to learn a city so quickly is not one that I am familiar with - to be able to bike all over it in a matter of days - the magick that lives there feels of balance to my current home

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DSC_2845

I have never felt such comparable land magick - needless to say I had that feeling - that feeling of being immediately at home - as though I could have stayed there from the beginning

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one of the forces that had landed me there was a music festival - which I would have never chosen to go to on my own - instead I had the opportunity - via a good friend - to take photos of the musicians - a way more desirable realm to experience this environment - at least in my opinion - it filled my heart to see hip-hop acts perform that I have been listening to for the better portion of my life - thank you Nas - thank you Bone Thugs n Harmony - I love you

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oh and the colors there - don't even get me started on that cities colors - completely amazing and full of enchantment - there is no fear in the use of color to be found there - and then when the plants come in - they inhabit so many of the porches attached to these prismatic homes - such an inspiring symbiosis of environment - thank you New Orleans for being my gateway into spring of 2014

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and oh boy is the Mothership ever present - I hear you - I see you - I love you - greetings to you too my dearest

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Processed with VSCOcam with t1 preset

making permanent impressions was accelerating ( still is ) - faster than my thoughts can move - I used a machine to mark human flesh for the first when I arrived back at my origin - many emotions to process - so easy - so excited - and completely not into it - is what I realize I little more everyday

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planning guerrilla dance parties in the streets of Denver - which originated in an inspired breakfast conversation - totally amazing playful manifestation - one of the many reasons you are dear to me - the ability and openness to play freely is one that is so important

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Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset

you - there aren't words for you or what I've known since the day I met you - you we're gaining importance and time in my life so quickly - after months of constantly missing each other - going here going there -  catching one another for a few days in between - finally - finally we we're both still - in one place long enough to really truly establish what had been building for so long

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our time living in the forest was coming to a light fast closing - spring and sun came back like lightning - days were becoming filled with crawling around the beach - through the pollinating plants - adventuring - seeking -

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bonding - finding a balance - and finally being able to have the time to enjoy this collaborative reflection -

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examining our surrounding spectrum - getting to fully enjoy the gifts of our surrounding lands - treasure hunting

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Processed with VSCOcam with x1 preset

death was still very present - decay is always surrounding us - lingering in scent - watching time disintegrate - the realization

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Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset

that this will not always be home - sinking in - so quickly - how grateful I am and always will be for this place - this ever so relevant section of the heavens - my cocoon

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and most of all that we shared this time of great importance together - you push me - love me - you are one of my greatest teachers and have been a profound doorway in my life - a true balance and reflection of self - the definition of a sister - thank you for everything that you are - for endless hours of playing and creating so freely with me - with you

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Processed with VSCOcam with m5 preset

to pass a teaching to you - the incredible gift and imperfections and lessons - all concealed on this suit for the walk of a lifetime - you are always with me

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Processed with VSCOcam with t1 preset

returning to old mediums - old loves - what a theme of this year - weaving past and present - learning to use my hands again - to mold and shape shift earthen matter - a true passion - a true gift of Earth and ligament

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rawldyeye

opening in ways that we never had - a day filled with the spectrum of emotions - you are ever present and tangible in this lifetime - beginning to truly see - you

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the mycelial like network that exists between all of us - connections - crossing over - honesty and blaring sun on the beach front - oh how I miss that beach front

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Processed with VSCOcam with t1 preset

an incredibly pivotal tattoo - the realization of forming totems - the realization of how dear you are to me - many blessings

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DSC_4227

the temperature difference in water and sun - somehow made it more bearable to submerge our warmth drenched bodies into the always stinging cold Puget Sound

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IMG_3128

it is the feeling of strength and self control to enter those waters - self preservation - an evoking of bright inner life - so deeply enlivening

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I don't know where you came from or where you went - but the few days we spent together were a true gift - the way you would follow me and sat on my shoulders - such an immediate bond - some kind of little messenger - a tiny furry angel you are - if only you could have stayed with me beyond that short window

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Processed with VSCOcam with g3 preset

you're another one I don't have words for - sometimes there just aren't words - but you know - I know you do

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you came during the closing of it all - an end cap of sorts and probably the best time you could have - to see how my life had seeded out there into some great mystery of environment - to spend time with each other because that seems to be ever fleeting these days

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I mean we were REALLY good at gathering - a general sense of intimacy in our community - something I have never seen or experienced anywhere else - this is an example of the magick Olympia holds

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the secret greenhouse passage had a different life at night - one much more curious - haunting - one sided

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the meeting and expression of impeccable minds - nothing is quite as moving as creation that truly originates from the heart - you should play together more often

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DSC_4453

sun is life changing - I've never appreciated it as much as I do since I have lived in Washington - becoming a little more grateful for it everyday - to see how people shift with the seasons has taught so much - a completely different level of interaction occurs - how beautiful to see all of the community come out of the winter woodwork to share music and daylight with one another - to feed and dance with our surrounding reflections - a door closing

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DSC_4478

and a new - very exciting door opening - I live for the moments that I get to be with all of you - in a singular time frame - to see you all interact - a collision of sharp minds - teachers - listeners - guides - you are all angels - this was the last of it - the final moments of our strange healing window in time - and then - the great unknown of after

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and just like that - a new place - an experience that will be completely life changing - within a matter of 24 hours I had said good bye to my soul sister and hello to this ethereal desert land body - and to greet uncannily familiar beings - beings of light

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how had I not been here yet in this lifetime? - how can some experiences feel so familiar? - almost as though to re-walk through a dream - in a waking state

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you have created an everlasting ripple in this lifetime - in this self - some of the greatest fuel and inspiration I have met with yet - I am constantly blown away by all of you - by the amazing vast creative portals that each and every one of you are

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the mommas of this new paradigm - the embodied experience of the starry counsel - this is why I am here - to meet you in the flesh - the physical plane - you excite and inspire my heart beyond my expressive capabilities

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DSC_4667

for whatever reason I followed the inkling to spend a week in a place that I once despised - what a transformative chain of events - totally swept off my feet by L.A. during this segment - there is a profound portal there right now - drawing in strong creation and manifestation

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and now things were full speed ahead - moving faster than thought - than time itself - to somehow find the hours to enjoy the golden sun of our region and move out the past 9 months - to pull together an art show in a matter of a few days

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thankfully for whatever reason - we are particularly good at that last part

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to remember a deep love of installing - curating - directing - and color - the spectrum and its symbiotic existence - similar to the events of this lifetime

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to be so wildly in love with you - you are so many figures in one and the most phenomenal reflection I could ask for - knowing your importance since we first crossed paths not knowing it would feel as beyond as it does

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Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset

your relevance in this lifetime is constantly gaining traction - opening doorways - letting me see further into my self

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every emotion I've ever felt was at it's fullest volume - completely spinning out - so much to make happen in a very short few days - no time to process - hours of water droplets falling from my eyes in the somewhat backyard of a kind of future home

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Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset

and saying goodbye to you and all of the spirit that lives within you - I'm still working on this one - sometimes I wake in the middle of night - heart racing thinking about all of it - how it may always hold as one of the most significant time periods of this lifetime - eternally grateful and constantly remembering this - all but a dream

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days disappearing with the beat of the heart - a car full of everything that I "own" and some of the dearest humans in my life - in the middle of no where Oregon - a night spent lodged between driver and passenger seat - probably the most notable and most restless night of sleep achieved in 2014

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Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset

making our way back to my roots - but first a stop in the mountains of Utah - to stay with other very relevant humans - only to get sucked into the definition of a creative portal and over a foot of snow in the middle of June - a primary example of everyday magick

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IMG_4877

a primary example of play - acknowledging the inner children in us all - stories and music and painting - the hearts we're filled to the brim - and we completed the final leg of travel

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a place once called home - having more acceptance for it every time I return - maybe the environment feels more resonant - still un-sure of that one - shifting energies - halfway settling - mostly unsure and always grateful

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Processed with VSCOcam with a4 preset

a pivotal time in the creative career that was (is) manifesting so quickly - more permanent markings and meetings - more trust from more humans - completely blown away - constantly speechless by all of you out there - thank you for fueling dreams and affirming intuition - you make this all possible

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we started west and met east - from one side to the other - some form of completion - a beautiful type of water to be in - one I had never been exposed to - so grateful for any body of water that will hold this body

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Processed with VSCOcam with x1 preset

you are accumulating a collection so quickly - medicine to move and grow with you - logging travel and time on your skin - these were the 3rd

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Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset

 and the 4th - cosmic friends for each other

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 days often felt like this

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and looked like this - slowing down - melting and bending linear time - never wearing pants - resting - constantly resting - the pain was consistently and deeply wearing on you at this point and then in a matter of a few hours everything lifted but perhaps not fixed

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marks made in time - monuments and facets of transformation - of devotion - a month together in solitude - removed from the world - from time - as if everything stopped so that this month could exist - thank you

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DSC_5125

another segment of more vital creations - my primary medium - ever gaining my love and fascination - constantly collaborating and meeting with other minds

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and some how I was in motion to the great pacific northwest - taking two weeks to wander around some favorite parts of this land mass - what a dream it is to travel alongside you - in unification with you

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 the desert has sunsets like no other - colors like no other - something to lust over

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 the quality of returning to an accelerated environment - to crawl in and around land vortexes

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to overlap fond reminiscence with new sense - to re touch the same rock formations and plant beings - the full spectrum totally concentrated

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 a few days // locations // experiences later only to wake up to a living paradise overlooking a place that I had developed such love for a few months previous - playing in the salty pacific waves and running through hot sand - so revitalizing - light hearted - one so close to my heart - more days like this would be welcomed - gladly

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and the decision that changed the layout of our entire journey - Burning Man - what a strange experience - place - city - whatever one may call it - with only 5 or so days notice we were committed - curve ball that came in from the left - a four day segment and so full of everything that it could be full of - we were both starting to feel exhausted at this point

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we were thoroughly exhausted by the time we made it back to Reno - dust covered and raw - a good feeling - maybe once a year or so - within the next 3 days we will be back in Olympia - that was gut wrenching and daunting to me - I could feel something approaching

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it was one of the harder landings that I've personally had - somewhere in between not having a home - processing my previous departure of this place - everything it had meant for me and being somewhat relieved to back and most definitely relieved to be with you - through all of it - and so the two month window opened

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I felt awful - genuinely worse than I have ever felt - there were good moments - they still felt cloudy - sometimes I went down to Portland to tattoo - to somehow attempt to strike passion into myself - some amazing monuments were created within that abyss

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most of my time during this window was spent crying - purging really dark negative feelings - falling in love with the world of mycology - feeling completely worthless - sometimes light would shine through this tremendously foggy tunnel

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about half way through I retreated to Orcas Island - to meet sisters - to create a drum - a heartbeat - to tune in and heal while still feeling semi at home - more than semi really - sleeping in dreamy accommodation

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Processed with VSCOcam with m5 preset

and meeting incredibly inspiring beings - the creations that come through the humans on this planet are constantly blowing me away - we are all so capable of anything that comes to mind

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this tiny window was so healing - so needed - to be around nurturing mother energy - to feel taken care of - seen - heard - felt - supported - thank you

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somehow this all picked up where it left off - tears streaming down my face standing in this weird field of a back yard - I guess this was home for now

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and amongst all of the in between - I cut it all off - to make room for this growth

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DSC_5494

I love each and every one of you so dearly - you are messengers are the cosmos - friends to work alongside with - thank you for coming here and making yourselves heard - I am honored to be in your presence

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and then there's you - again - always - I am constantly in awe of your ability to support and show up and be present - even through the darkest thing I've ever felt - you are so brilliant - a sharp and nurturing mind to say the least

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DSC_5553

you see me in my most vast form - more of the spectrum than anyone else has ever seen - you capture me closest to the truth - and here's to 20 years around this sun - occupying this space ship - the most mind expanding and synchronistic 20 years to be imagined - eternally grateful for every moment

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DSC_5579

after you had returned from over seas - a couple months previous - it was almost strange - strange that we no longer lived in the same structure - together - we both were feeling slightly fed up - the need to leave this strange utopia we call home - so we set a date and when that date arrived - man did it prove to be difficult to leave - three twelve hour days of driving through beyond intense weather conditions - snow - ice - sliding off of the road - sleeping on the side of the highway - being able to laugh about all of it to finally make it back to past homes - our mothers and families - familiarity

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I had never felt such a deep craving to be with family - to be at my original home - my heart needed it - and for the third time this year I had the blessing to mark countless extraordinary humans - learning more every poke - every person

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FullSizeRender-2

originally I left with the thought that I wouldn't see you for a month - that changed in a matter of a week - you met me in Denver - such an amazing surprise - it has become increasingly more difficult to spend time many miles apart from you

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DSC_5828

two weeks in Denver and over 30 permanent impressions created - and I departed - it always goes by quicker than my mental motions - I headed south - only to have my first stop be filled with the enchantment of a new connection and healing waters - still in awe of this holy place

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DSC_5856

nothing compares to the colors and ethereal qualities of the desert body - I lust for it - for the flora and scent that is carried through the air - the extreme qualities of environment - the dryness - it is so balancing for me - so neutralizing - my body feels completely aligned with this ecological environment these days - somehow I thrive there

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the feeling of being completely embodied - to return the clarity that I have always carried - to be completely at peace with self - something that I missed so dearly

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every stop - reconnecting me a bit more than the last - nourishment in familiarity and mystery - still struck by this sky - these colors - and sometimes photos do not exist for the most profound feelings - in fact neither to words - but they exist without the need for documentation

a few days later I was back at home - so briefly that it didn't sink in - enough time to unpack - to re-pack - to head east with my deepest love - to a different aspect of home - one that fulfills me on many levels - his origin - everything that he came from and to be completely in love with all of it - the atmosphere of non linear time - as if the entire world stopped for those two weeks - to rest - to be completely taken care of

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HTNYE
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FullSizeRender

and then on the last day of this cycle we submerged back into the city - one of the largest on the planet - what concept and energy is held there - and then there is you - there is always you - I sit here trying to imagine how words can be put to this partnership - they simply can't - you blow me away time after time - and although we have our hardships not always being in the same geographical location - I have love deeper for you than has ever existed in me - thank you for being my ground - my roots - you will always ascend verbalization another lap around the sun has been completed - perhaps at record speed - every emotion and interaction so extraordinary - high volume to say the least - it has been acknowledged and felt that we are living in a period of great significance - a holy age - it is time that we come together - in whatever way shape or form - and do our best to inform each other - our environment - and to move through it with as much grace as we are capable of exuding - there are tremendous happenings on the horizon - here's to another rotation aboard the Mothership